New feature! Ask A Sexologist

(This, along with a few other posts, is being cross-posted at our new website, which has three active contributors and counting! I have a chronic problem with starting and trying to maintain multiple blogs; I’ve tried various solutions to this problem but nothing seems to be taking. For now, at least, I’ll be posting more personal stuff exclusively at this blog, more controversial stuff exclusively at the other blog, and a lot of things to both blogs.)

Several years ago, when I was frantically catching up on all the information on sexuality I avoided learning in my youth, I discovered Savage Love. I read through every single archived column, and then went back and did it again. It was around that time that I started to think, “This human sexuality stuff seems pretty endlessly fascinating to me… perhaps I will devote my career to it?” So now I’m about a third of the way through a M.Ed in human sexuality. It’s still early days, but I’m very happy with that decision so far.

So now I want to share the riches of my extensive knowledge. Got a question about sexuality? Ask away! If it’s a factual question, I either know the answer or know how to find it (or can tell you “we don’t know yet, but here’s the fascinating history of the investigation so far!”) If it’s advice, well, as Dan Savage points out, the only qualification necessary to give advice is having been asked for it. I will disguise any personally-identifying information, and I will be nice to you: as much as I enjoy Dan Savage’s caustic style, I’m constitutionally incapable of emulating it.

I’ll run the feature from one to three times a week, depending how many questions I get and whether I have a paper due. If you have a question email me: lirelyn at gmail dot com.

One thought on “New feature! Ask A Sexologist

  1. First of all, thank you for taking the time to read all of our concerns :). I’m 23 years old and recently lost my virginity. I’ve always been successful at masturbation but from a very young age it was done so w foreign stimulators… Water pressure, vibration, etc. I can orgasm both through clitoral stimulation and penetration while the clis is being stimulated. However, when with my partner whom I’ve been constantly active w for the past month I dont even begin to get stimulated…aroused yes but not even close to orgasm. Is this normal? I’m not sure if most of it is a mental block or what. I used to think that someone providing me w oral sex would be heavenly but someone spoiled it for me once and ever since I perhaps have a preconceived idea that it doesn’t work cuz somebody failed at it. I’m not sure. Anyhow, he stimulates me in every way n penetrates and I get pretty wet and all but no orgasm for me. Only when i masturbate. And I have tried binaries when he is around, well only twice n even then I can’t get myself to get off! I’m sure that is mental. Is there such thing as disensitizing urself? Where touch alone doesnt do it?


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